Friday!!!!! Brook again, and I have a post for the upcoming webcomic “The Lost Adventures of Borracho y Gordo” In the past we have met the 2 main characters. Today we will look at Borracho’s tools of the trade. These are items he just can’t live without. So sit back, grab a bottle of hooch and enjoy!

Borracho’s Jernal…Intry 13
That lousy Gordo. Woke up today and saw him rifling through my things. Probably hungry. Shame he eats all the food, though not a shame he has no taste for firewater. Guess I will keep him around another week. Time to take another inventory and hope he didn’t eat any of my stuff.
Item 1: Lockpicks
My ol’ trusty lockpicks. I stole these off a drunk priest a while back. We were both in a cell and he clearly thought powers above would get him out. Well here I am and, he is probably still there waitin. These got me out of plenty of times when I was mistaken for a drunk gringo gunslinger. Doesn’t look like Gordo messed with this.
Item 2: My beloved revolver
Now here is a beautiful creature. I named him Frederic Winchester LeForge, though I just call him Duke for short. Yeah I know, its strange naming a gun after a man and not a lady, but lets face it…that gun means power, strength, and intimidation. All qualities a woman just don’t…well you know. I stole this gun off a dead man out in the desert. Duke and I go everywhere together, and have gotten out of quite a few scrapes. Gordo hates violence, and says that he doesn’t like Duke. I think Gordo is just jealous, cuz I talk to Duke more than him, and Duke doesn’t eat all the cornbread.
Item 3: Clove of Garlic
Garlic. No self-respecting gunslinger would be caught dead without it. Helps freshen my breath when I am wooing the ladies. I can tell by the watery look in their eyes, that my charms are enhanced by this miracle remedy. This garlic is also great for fending off vampires, Gordo says they don’t exist, but what does he know. I fought off three once in a box canyon and lived to tell the tale.
Item 4: My Chunk of Fools Gold
Gold is quite a valuable thing in these parts, and this little chunk of fake gold is even more so. I can’t tell you how many times I have traded this same little chunk in for some spending money, only to “receive” it back. It’s a well used item, though most of the time its use gets us banned from a town. A small price to pay for well earned money! I stole this from Gordo…shhhh don’t tell him!
Item 5: Horsehair Mustache
This horsehair mustache has saved my bacon more than anything else. I stole the hair from a very stupid horse. A mustache is the perfect disguise. Once I put it on, no one knows who I am. I have fooled many a lady’s old man with this clever ruse. When I put this little baby on, I can become anyone in town…a barkeep, a barber, a blacksmith. No one suspects the mustache and no one notices my presence, though somehow Gordo always knows its me. He must have some sort of Mexican black magic, I will have to look into that.
Item 6: Knife
This knife has many uses. Mainly I use it for bedpost notching and shaving my horse. I stole this knife from a guy who was keeping it in his back, he was sleeping on his face after a saloon fight. Gordo says it wasn’t really stealing since the guy wasn’t going to use it. Poor Gordo, he is so dumb, theft is the best way to get anything you want.
Item 7: Magic Whiskey
Now this is the most valuable thing in my possession. This is a magic bottle of whisky. I stole this from a snake-oil merchant. As I was walking away with my prize, I noticed Gordo hand the man something and they shook hands. I don’t know what that was, but all I know is that this whisky was now mine! This bottle refills itself every night. I go to bed and it is empty, when I wake up in the morning it is full. I swear one night I saw a big fat fairy creature filling the bottle, but that could have been the booze talking. Well I don’t ask questions….ugh, Gordo’s greasy handprints are all over this.
Well it looks like everything is still here, that Gordo, he is too dumb to steal. Good for me, bad for him!